This topic is absolutely melancholy for me. I've been blessed to know complacency; what it feels like, tastes like, it's fullness and bubbling joy. But, every now and then, evil works its way into daydreams... You've probably had the same ones. The ones that you wouldn't share with anyone because they cut to the sinew like razors. You're pissed at your spouse and you drift off thinking about divorce... you're stressed with (insert your source here) and think about being killed in a car accident... you've cried either on the surface or deep inside from that pain whose wound gets scratched by a smell, ethereal de ja vous or untimely anniversary and wondered what would your life be like without it.
Have you ever even shared these things with the textured ceiling as it stares back at you or the tail lights of your traffic jam partaker? Probably not, but why? Is it the ridiculousness of doing it; "I must be crazy to consider speaking this horrific thing to the thin air"? The wall doesn't mock you like a monitor to a writer with block.
For me, Christ is that slow moving, flashing red light in the night sky. Sometimes, I tell it to Him... He simply listens, gives me refresh in that fathom of my mind, separating me from that thing. The trick for me is to realize that the only thing between me and reprieve of this burden is pride. "I can deal with it. I'm a big boy with broad shoulders." Truth is; no, I'm not. I'm a fleshy spare tire, an easily crushed spirit, 70% water. I'm average.
"The grass is not greener over there, just watered more" - fjwii. As a great friend similarly put it, "You are of no use where you are not". What does this mean? Take joy in those hardships because they are essential to character. "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith" (1Tim.4:7). However, if you want eternal reward for these hardships, Believe! This probably requires you to know you are average, broken and not a consequence of your surroundings, but an error landfill. It definitely requires love for Him.
Where do you fall on this? Is it different depending upon your season? Are you driven to clear your head with drugs, alcohol, abuse, inanity or be quidnunc? Walk with me.
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4 comments:
I love that you aren't afraid to say all of these things. I sometimes marvel at your contentment with EVERYTHING and think that you could never understand anyones desire for more. Most would consider you a baby christian, only 3 years into your journey, but you are so far ahead. Your seed is growing, your bread is rising, you are no longer milk-fed. I am truly in awe of what God has done in you, and consequently for our family.
And you are right. Most of the time we look at things too pridefully, thinking to ourselves why didn't I take that opportunity and step out in faith. Why am I mad at God when he put it all in front of me and I said "no thank you I can do it on my own".
(and for anyone who doesn't speak Klignon, quidnunc mean-a gossip. I had to look it up :-)
Selah...a musical term. Selah, a pause. A quiet spot of no music, a momentary pause with no sound. How tiresome our life would be without pause from the cacophony of constant sound. Yet internally, we worry when our time to sing has come to a close that we will not sing again. We worry way too much; I know this because I do it. The searing pain of mortal life is a great equalizer, and the deceiver uses this pause time as his personal mission field. 1 Pet 5:8.
The Master has the entire piece of music in His Good hand. When he summons, we joyfully sing. When our "rest" is required we really should REST, in Him.
2 Tim 1:12 I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.
selah, I like it. It sounds like wonder bread for the middle East ball players.
The ref. to Peter conjures up imagery of prey taking relief from the heat, but being stalked by the predator (Psalms 42:1). So the respite is in Him for Us (whether it's by protection of this life or wrest from Death), but what about for Them?
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